10 years ago today...

...hubby and I were married. It's hard sometimes to believe that we made it this far. In all honesty those first few years were on the rough side. There were times when I had gone as far as looking for an apartment of our own for Little Man and I to move to. Over the 10 years we have been married hubby has matured a great deal. In the beginning I know I came into our relationship with a great deal of baggage. My first husband (high school sweetheart) cheated on me so my ego was very fragile and out of fear of being left again I will admit to doing some things at the onset of our relationship (current hubby and myself) that set up many of our troubles...even though I think most of hubby's personality can be blamed on his parents and their lack of instilling values and self worth in their sons.

I was a push over -- which is so unlike me that I think when we finally got comfortable with one another or at least me with him my true persona came out and that just threw hubby for a loop. In the beginning I was the bread winner and I bought him presents left and right so he grew accustomed to getting whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. I'm sure you can see how we ended up in a great deal of debt because of that philosphy and still digging out to this day.
There was a period of time when I just wasn't in love with him and everything about him I despised. If it hadn't been for Little Man I do believe that he and I would be divorced. I just couldn't go down that road if for no other reason than that I couldn't share custody of my child. I'm too much of a control freak to turn him over for the weekend and not know what's going on. So hubby and I trudged through some very rough I mean ROUGH waters.

I'm not sure when things really changed. But I know that they have. Hubby stepped up to the plate and became the man I always knew he could be. Don't get me wrong he can still drive me to the brink as I can him but he's taking pride in what we have accomplished as a family. We own a home, he went back to school to better himself, we have 2 wonderful kids who we adore and adore us. And even in the worst of times deep down I know we have good lives.

I'm glad that I stuck it out. I now don't know what I would do if he wasn't in my life. He's my best friend and he's there to pick up the pieces in a way that no one else can. He's a wonderful man faults and all.

So 10 years ago today on a hot and humid Friday evening we tied the knot and partied the night away around a bonfire in my inlaws field and even though we've had some rough times I wouldn't change a thing.