Torn....

Most of you know that this year I am in a dual role at my job. MWF -- I am a preschool teacher for a 3 year old class and TTh I am in an administrative role working with the director of the preschool.

When next school year comes around I have to make a decision which role I am going to undertake since neither role can be effectively undertaken by my being split. I am really torn where it is I am supposed to be. I have been in an admistrative role for the better part of my 20 year working career and admittedly it's a role that I do very well with -- me and my control issues. That area I can completely totally control. LOL.
Yet I really do love working with the children -- opening educational doors for them and seeing the light bulb go off in their heads. And I was lucky enough last year with my Montessori experience to see just what children of all ages can accomplish if they are given the chance and opportunity. So I know that I could make a difference in my students lives if I were given the chance to. My problem currently though is that I am working with a great many old school teachers who see preschool as a more social experience rather than an academic one. Please don't get me wrong....social is wonderful but I truly believe that you can marry the two to form a well rounded childred ready to enter the public schools.
Right now I don't feel as though we are preparing my 3 year old class so that when they move into pre-k they have a good foundation of skills to build on. To complicate matters while I truly enjoy my teaching partner as an individual our philosophies when it comes to the children are widely separated. I look at the children in my class as if they were my own. I truly believe that I treat them the way I would treat my own or better yet want to give them all the opportunities that I want my own daughter to have. I have seen the potential Girlie Girlie has and if I am honest with myself I don't see that being capitalized on in her current class. She's losing some of the skills that she gained from Montessori last year. And before you all jump on me and tell me that I should be working with her....I do do my best but I am sure all the working moms out there can atest to that some days there aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done.

I know the director needs a decision from me as to what role I want to be in come next school year (not until May of course) but I am having trouble trying to decide. I know that if some of the things that truly bother me in the way the classes are run don't change then me being a teacher won't be the right place for me and being only in the admin role would work better....the catch 22 is that I will miss the interaction with the children. I do truly love that.

So I don't know if I expect an answer from any of you....but I would like some advice and thoughts especially from any of those teachers that might pass by here. Thanks in advance.